bruised and battered by your words.

hahhh, starting with a totally random picture which definitely has no link to my entry. hah.

went out early in the morning to study with carmen and in the entire 4 hours, i only managed to cover 1 chapter. totally unproductive and im feeling guilty now. AT LEAST, it's some catchup session with carmen. hah.

agreeing totally with carmen, we all tend to feel more gan xing at night. i guess everyone's like this? muha. after going for the lihui's party and the chat with carmen, i seem to feel more sad rather than happy. hah, i feel as though ive wasted my youth (though im not very old), didnt really make good use of my carefree sec school days. very little involvement in sch stuff and i guess i only start developing a character after o's. dont know what i meant by character development? then maybe you haven gone thru that stage. ive matured thru a tough way, but at least im glad ive matured (:

anyway, being random again. i must say, one can definitely be bruised and battered my others' words. well, some may choose to confront, to start a quarrel. dont know whether it's good or not, ive changed and chosen to shut up and slowly move away from the person. moving away in the sense of sharing less and spending less time tgt. one day you might realise... im gone, totally.

hah, i hope that day will nv come though.

there are three kinds of friends in this world.

one, those who can have fun with.

two, those who can have fun and share your feelings with.

three, both of the above mentioned.

have you find the type 3 friends of yours?

hahhhhhhhhhhh...

a peaceful night.

the week ends perfectly with a trip to the esplanade and a dinner of donuts (:
heh, im taking today as the last day of the week cause we're not going to sch tomorrow!
greats, can slp late tonight. but im afraid i cant last long already.
if only the weather can perfect my mood by giving some drizzle now to make it totally good for slping. hahhh.

anyway, was having a rather bad mood for the whole week since prelims is drawing near.
decided to take a little break today. as usual, my break is always the seek for peace (:
went to suntec to have donuts and some snacks before heading to the esplanade library.
well, only managed to study for 1.5 hours then we went to the rooftop for a nice view of the night sky and the beautiful glinted towers. took nice photos, got a chilled snapple drink and sat by the river for a while before rushing home.
this is what i called soul replenishment, something to prevent draining and to get some life.
please dont define this as slack ):

take a look at the nice photos (:

now what? feeling so worn out now, how to continue studying?
hah, should i sleep?
sigh................................

so sad.

it's coming to the last week of school. the last week. im getting stressed, a different kind of stress. so many revision package, all due on the same day. which one to start first? tys? kinetics? was having a dilemma just now. hate this kind of situation, i wasted quite some time coming up with a decision.

stress 2, revision seems nv ending. i really wonder how am i going to complete everything within 11 days. surprisingly, im most afraid of my math. j1 topics... hah, all forgotten.





really really dread going to school these days. dont know how to phrase it, maybe, stress give rise to some sort of isolation? i guess studying with sis works best. hah, everything will be completely different in 3 months time. yes, gurantee.

sigh, have to go to sch tomorrow.
time for bed, finally.

gift-making.

for past 3 hours, ive been making pearl's present and i have yet to start on my hw.
but i enjoyed it, it was really fun making the card and wrapping the present. much much more fun than doing hw. hah, i guess ive got loads to catch up for my sch work.
perphas my speed isnt slow, but compared to my peers, im lagging miles behind.
this is really stressful at times. it frights me out, totally.

anyway, presenting my achievement (:
well, i wouldnt say it's very nice, it would be so BHB to do so. moreover, it really isnt very nice.
i just like my effort and enjoy the fun.
shall not spend my days just studying, it's good to have a hobby and to do something you truly like. hah, kind of like self-consoling? hoho.




had a class photo 2 days ago and took a radom shot with qx and reena on the field.
the sun is scorching, i could barely open my eyes. looked super red in this photo, dont really like it. but since reena like it, i shall upload it. sorry qx, the photo wasnt very well taken and your face was partially blocked. we shall take another one during a better weather.
let's note it as one of the memorable shots in jj, our days in jj are coming to an end.


okay, other than that. ive done some reflections today.
feel kinda guilty and dumb. thanks for everyone's tolerance, esp Yours.
if my words have hurt you in a way or two, my apologies.

another failed attempt

the long weekend has been great and i enjoyed the 9th aug the most (:
let's have a short summary of how i spent the weekend. taking it as a chance to note down all my beautiful memories. hehh.

wed, 8 aug
had ndp celebration in sch and headed to ikea with cy and cheryl.
took nice photos and had a delicious meal of meatballs. ended that day of fun quite early and went home to rest at 5pm.

thurs, 9 aug
it was national day. sis went out with her friends, leaving me and ma at home.
after some hesitaition, we decided to join the crowd in the viewing of fireworks at marina sq.
it was indeed very very crowded. bumped into qihui and huiting that day. what a coincidence!
oh yah, i enjoyed the day's trip to Market place (at raffles shopping centre) the most (:
but it was a pity that we didnt really get to see the fireworks very clearly, kinda chose the wrong spot. after that, we went to shop around to look for sis's bday present. got a puma jacket for her. it's nice! nicer than mine ):

fri, 10 aug
hehh, tried to do some hw. went to the nearest mac with sis to do some hw. apparently, we didnt manage to complete alot, it was too noisy. if you think i spent my day mugging, you're wrong.
muhahas, went to lot one to have a mini bday celebration for zy. had an Ajisen meal! and i ate the same ramen, Tom yam. haha, my craving for tom yam will nv end, i guess :D

sat, 11 aug
it was a fun and long day.
went to carmen's new house early in the morning to get back my math booklet.
her new place is spacious and comfortable. i love her wardrobe especially her arrangement of erm, clothes which looks very neat (surprisingly, hahaha). totally envious.
besides that, ive also planned a bday surprise for my sis, worked secretly with my sis's friends.
i kinda shocked her when i appeared at the venue. hahas... her friends are pretty friendly, and one of them was ultra funny. his actions, his speech, wah, can faint.
took some photos of her (:





sun, 12 aug
okay, today is the most boring day of the holiday. was trying to do some revision but failed, failed pathetically. fell asleep AGAIN. if this goes on, i wonder where can i go next year.
hah, got to kick the habit! looking at how hardworking zy is striving now, i really feel motivated to work harder. but still, i dread going to sch. not because of the workload though. hah.

it feels stressful to realise tt i didnt complete anything much in this holiday which was supposed to be a good time to catch up with the revision. hah, all i could say is.... it's another failed attempt. maybe i'll have to work a little more later. sigh.

your absence.

a long and tiring trip to ikea Tampines.







as usual, the last photo is the favourite photo of the day.
hah, ive got the habit of saving the best for the last.
had a great deal of fun today again and ikea's meal is really filling to the extent that ive skipped dinner. yes, i managed to (:






today is the 9th, the day that draws back loads of memories. im definitely not brooding over it, but just pondering how the other party is doing now.
to a certain extent, it's such a failure to completely lose contact with someone who used to be your closest soul.
for the past 2 national days, i spent it with great companion. i guess i enjoyed last year's national day the best.


im losing touch with too many people.
& i miss those long chats that made me fall asleep halfway thru

goodnight.

do you understand?

okay, the "one litre of tears' mood is back again.

was chatting with my elder cousin just now and she asked me for nice shows.
introduced the show to her and after helping her to find the youtube user, i caught the last episode of it. im affected again.



began to ponder whether ive taken things for granted or maybe asking for too much.
what else. ive been blaming the bus for making me late for sch, sighing that there's not enough time to study, grumbling that im not as intelligent or even complaining abt who and what im.
most of time, im rather "kou shi xin fei" though. well, but i admit my words are sometimes too harsh and crude. my apologies to those who are once hurt or affected by my words (: truthfully.

anyway, i see no harm having all these thoughts and emotions. in a way, it is some sort of reflection, isnt it? i always find reflections neccessary. when we reflect, we tend to cherish things more. hah, it may be kinda exaggerating to say this, but it really isnt for me. im trying to love life, and live it to the happiest each day (: what if i die tomorrow? hah.

had a small chat with carmen today. heh, penny of thoughts.



im letting go, to wait.

Are you?

cheryl, chiengyang & peili

went out with cheryl and chieng yang just now and it was fun fun fun and relaxed.
and i mean TOTALLY.

haha, it feels extraordinary great to be with people you know so well and for so long.
no barriers, no constraints and just blurt all you like.
with all the jokes and laughter, they really made my day (:
especially cy's " like, totally~. like, duh~" (inside joke)
hahahahaha.

haha, ive collage all the photos to skip the long loading time.
these are NICE photos.




and the one below is one of my favourite photos! aww, so nice. looks ultra innocent.


hah! this is damn sweeet... HAHAHA. i like it!

i like this photo too, taken by cheryl (:



by the way, i took a break ytd and spent the whole night playing with all the photos and my friendster profile. woohoo, i haven touch on my hw you know.
thats just part of the editing ive done to my profile.
i love the new colour combi. take a look my friendster account (:
it's so fun but time-consuming. well, at least i prefer doing this to doing hw.
who wont? HAHA.

three cheers to friendship!
looking forward to the next gathering (:
thanks cheryl and cy! hohoho.
goodnight C:

angel lover.

im going off to watch this show soon (:
it's a meaningful show, really.
it says so much about love. not just the opposite sex attraction, but it's the love for life.
hee, thats what how i feel though.
the melodies and songs are nice, and the quotes are useful.
this show has always been treated as a reward of the week (:
im taking a break today! wee~


besides that, ive been browsing quite a few blogs, including my bbss juniors'.
i realise i really miss bbss alot, and really hope that the culture hasnt change.
i miss my junior too. the times we used to spend together for bubble tea and waffle, and a small chat after chinese orchestra every week.
feel happy for her that she's now in her dream sch, SAJC, which was my dream sch as well.
but hah, too bad for me.

going off for angel lover (:

diy dinner.

taking this short time before dinner to blog.
made my own dinner tonight cause mum wasnt at home and sis's having night study in sch.
whipped out some rubbish using speg sauce, minced meat, corn beads and some organic noodle.
was actually intending to cook penne, but i guess it has turned bad. there are black flies falling out from the pack when i pour out the penne into the pan. totally disgusting.

alright, before that, i had a nice long nap.
afterall, home alone isnt that bad lah? haha. im kinda enjoying it, especially on moody days.
bio result is way too disappointing. im at loss, totally dont know why i fare so badly.
dont understand why did i always fail to include the essential points in my answers.
whats happening? if this goes on, im really losing morale.
wanted so much to rush home today, and always looking forward to leave sch to somewhere peaceful. have been going to galilee cafe for the past 2 days, and the feeling was great.
somehow, im enjoying this quietness and loneliness instead of the daily interactions in sch.
there's a sense of Fear. yes, it's fear. i hope i can overcome it though. or maybe, we can overcome it.

time for dinner and drama (:

soledad.

the photo that made my day.

calm and peaceful.

tired of trying,
tired of understanding.
tired of pouring everything
out,
tired of explaining.
tired of finding excuses,
tired of
lying.
tired to speak,
tired to answer.
tired of
expressing,
tired to smile.

goodnight (: