Every lil' thing ..

hello... im finally backk after gone for thousands of years... yey, exaggerating... hahas! :)

lots of things happened and they're mostly sad stuff? erm, dont know how to elaborate... hehs..

im just pretty sad? should be.

well... i shall show you all my terrible horrible timetable that's killing me...!

erm... click to have a clearer view? =)

Practically, im like so dead and tired everyday... im sleeping in class again! sigh...

as you all know... my blog is always flooded with photos and photos... so i shall be flashing more photos soon!

erm... this entry was supposed to be posted around a week ago but my com kept hanging and i cant find so much time to blog... =) tiring tiring week... but i had loads of fun during the weekends ! =) shall post the photos later! =)

joined band !trombone :)

too busy, too tired...

to think and feel...

maybe a picture can tell you more...

.. this blogskin ..

hey, im here to describe and explain about my blogskin... no doubt alot of people will start having the wrong idea... hahas... nah, the guy in the photo is NOT my boyfriend... we're not in a relationship! do we look like we're? seriously speaking, i dont think we look like a couple! LOL, bet my sis will agree with me and nods her head till it drops... hahas!

anyway, the guy in the photo is willy... we've known each other since i was secondary 1 and he was secondary 2... i can still recall so clearly that i knew him through MRL and in bbss library... =) we arent that close back then and were just like those 'hi-bye'' frens... it's only till 2003 mid year period then we started to chat online and got to know each other better... =) loads of things happened after that ( which i wouldnt like to eleborate ) and we began to shift apart and till we practically lost contact... hmm, he reappeared in 2005 and we got even close lor... reasons for which we can become great friends are... he's able to understand what im thinking and how i feel... it's like, he's able to do things of two extreme ends with me... he can have fun and go CRAZY with me, listen to me when im down and tries to give advices plus encouragement though sometimes i would just attitude him and give me dead replies... lalas... he's not a perfect friend lah, but someone close to my heart... so... dont mistaken us... bet he hates what im doing now, explaining so much that is unnecessary... LOL, i just find the need, though it's tiring... hahas... well, if you happened to have misunderstood, why not think about this... if we're together, it would have happened years ago... and come on lor, he's so tall and handsome, ( willy, dont get yaya ) hahas...

Yes, Friends... close friends who share joy and unahappiness, laughter and tears... hate him once, cherish him more... hahas... if you think photos can tell you so much, hmm... go on lor... lalas...

if you've read willy's blog and got so confused now, im here to clear your doubts... im not his girlfriend! he's just having fun creating this contradiction ! =)

that's all for today... im off to prepare for school tml! yeys! goodnight everyone... =)

pardon me for the spelling or grammar errors! im lazy to check! =)

.. a little bit more ..

hmm... ever thought of all the regrets you have in life? er... i've lots of regrets... i regret almost everyday over almost every single little thing... such as, 'sleep or go online?' , 'go out or stay at home?' , 'poly or Jc?' ... that's why i started to hate making decisions... cos' it's ur choice and your responsibility to bear the consequences... there's so many things i hate about life, just like almost any typical teenager... hahs... =D

hmm... i think i really need inner peace... small small decisions can spoil my day and disrupt my thoughts and everything! decisions really make me hate myself... really... making a decision involves so many things... first, i'll have to think of how is my decision going to affect the ppl around me, who are the ones that will be affected and how big will the impact be... due to all these, i always end up making decisions for the sake of others or rather bcos it's the least harm that i'll bring to others... im not trying to say that im noble, cos if you know what it can actually satisfy me, you'll find me a real selfish person... i find making decision for the sake of others is an easy task for me... at least i dont have to bear the conquences of feeling guilty, losing a fren or things like that... i just cant take BIG impacts... =) im no devil, so i dont enjoy hurting ppl and destroying their life... however, after so many things that have occurred in my life, i was enlightened that i can never be so godly... cos' who knows, i might just be hurting others or myself in another way... so, what matters most is to follow your heart, do what you love and what you think is good in the long run... sad to say, i still cant do it... it requires too much courage that i dont have... ahh...

heyy, to be true... i really wish to live a better life... and i really know what it takes to make my life better! =)

i think i need to love myself more... and let others know me better... yeys... it's not easy! and im still trying hard... firstly, i really dont know how to make others know me, understand me and trust me... i cant remember promises and if i've broken the promises i've made, im sorry... i dont do it on purpose, who will? im no devil... sorry cheryl, sorry ken, sorry shurei, sorry sorry... just dont allow me to make any promises ever again k? i cant remember them...

maybe, you will find it so strange... "hey, is this peili who is blogging? hmm, it doesnt seems like the peili that i know leh... " it's like for a moment you're enjoying my companion happily, and the next moment i might seem to be in another world that you dont belong to... dont faint as though you've met a freak with double extreme personalities... i believe it's normal for every human being, it's just like... who can be happy for 24/7 ? hahas...

to my friends, im really sorry... for the promises i've failed to keep... for the bad attitude that i've displayed and for the anger and sacarsm the i've vented on you all (esp CY) ... i must say, im someone who do the bad things first and go regretting and apologising after that... =) at least, i smiled each time im out with you all and i really enjoyed ur companion... thanks loads...

lastly, i hope to love myself more! yeys... though i've been failing lah... hahas... i never see myself as someone special or extraordinary... LOL... im always just a face in the crowd... =) what a negative mentality... hahs! for now, i just want to make every single day of mine beautiful... i'll keep smiling... and take more photos to regain or gain self-confidence... =) i hope i can do it... ! lalas...

well, last of all... Tomorrow will be a better day! and i'll become a better someone...

Smiles! xD

14th March'06

aww.. if only my legs can be slimmer... =(

fffinallyyy... we managed to take a whole gang photo... =D

just a smile... =)

come closer to me;

Now that she's gone

girl you know i miss you so

i didn't know you had to go

you've had enough of our distance baby

before i had the chance to say

i'm staying with you for the rest of my life

don't keep telling me these words

you don't know how much it hurts

and i'll promise you eternity

if you promise me your stay

but now it's too late

i'm no longer the man that i was

i will go on without her

like a fool who's too sure

i'm like a brid who's lost her wing

a fire without its flame

i don't know how to be strong

when my love has to move on

i am a song without a soul

now that she's gone

what's left of us is this song...

somehow this song is linked to something that i dont know how to eleborate...

hahas..

.. my kaleidoscope of life ..

my favourite photo of the day! =)

hahas, this is funny... im acting to be shitting with the skirt on... lol

uS at the JJ night! kinda high... x)

angela and me, during jj night... (is she my fren or is she not?) hahas..

i've been taking you as a fren all along, but...

this entry was supposed to be posted on the 9th... but my com was hanging like mad that day =S ...

anyway, i spent the 9th day of the month with my frens unlike in the past...and i had been recalling about the sweet old days, so i've actually spent the day quite miserably... tried so hard to make myself high and get on with the dances and singing... and i think i've attitude-ed alot of my frens that day esp cy... hahas.. sorry... =)

ER... my entries are usually posted a few days after the day the real event actually happen... and i actually wanted to talk about some of the brain-storming and unusual feelings that im experiencing today... so, i shall do it tml...! (if my com is alright) ... =) tml shall be a better day! ( self-motivation, one of the purpose for creating my blog! ) hahas... =)

today; my heart is questioned again...

today is a bad day... hahas..

got no mood to blog... and the com keeps hanging...

i've got lots of photos to publish here... shall do it next time...

goodnight everybody, tml will be a better day... =)

Personality Test - taken by mE =)

this is what the test result shows...

" You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:
You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education:
Education is less important than the real world out there, away from the classroom. Deep inside you want to start working, earning money and living on your own.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

hmm, hahas... the results are sooo POSITIVE! am i really like that? hopefully... hahas... =)
sounds like an interesting test right? but i've forgotten what's the website le... ops...

NEXT.. this is a real funny test result! hahas! xD

What Type of Flirt Are You?
Peili, you're a Silly!

So, did you hear the one about the funny flirt? You probably have, because it's you!
Being a Silly Flirt, you know that laughter is often the quickest way to someone's heart.
Your conversations with "potentials" are always peppered with the latest jokes and catchphrases, and you'll do anything — including humiliating yourself
— to get the object of your affection to crack a smile.
Just make sure that your quest for yuks doesn't blind you to other flirting approaches.
You don't want to be stuck in "pal" purgatory.
Sometimes a soft brush on the arm or a lingering look wins more points than even the funniest story. We're not saying you need to jump in someone's lap tomorrow
(unless you think it might get you a big guffaw...),
but a little directness could take you a long way.
Still, until you're ready to expand your act, it's great to keep 'em laughing.

hahas... im a silly flirt! ( which means im no flirt ) hahas! xP

.. Partners for life ..

im gonna name out and talk about the important ppl in my life...

my frens... =)

there're quite a number of them, of different ages, personality and gender...

hahas... xD

.. me & cheryl ..

hmm.. cheryl, the first fren i made in secondary sch... i must say that i really feel that it's fate that brought us together! Lol, it sounds as though we're couple... we're not! im not les, definitely... =) we've quarrelled quite a few of times and sometimes it's just so difficult for us to share and confide... she's ABIT too fierce and sometimes too harsh, making it difficult for others to share or confide in her... but she's definitely a great fren to have fun and take lotsa pics with... x) i belive that as we get to really understand each other better, i'll be finding it easier to confide in her... yeas... =) she's so fast in her studies, but seriously slow and retard in catching what we're trying to say... hahas! everyone(carMor, angela, yang, son and tj) sure agrees with me! lala... ohh, by the way, she looks much nicer than how she looks like in the photo! i just love this pic and posted it!

.. mE and carMor ..

yeas, now let's talk about CarMor! nah, her real name is actually Carmen... but CarMor sounds nicer! and all of us love her SMILE! =) it's just so sweet! she's just so photogenic! my mum named her "xiao tian tian" lols... she has got a real cute mum too! that's so cool lor... *envious* ... she's also the Miss Nice (cheryl's idea) cos she everything also ' okay lor ' ... hahas... cheryl and i always ponder... aint she tired being such a saint? hahas! guess cheryl and i are regarded as the Mean-ies by the gang... lols, i dont care... xP my beloved companion, if only you can be less busy and have more time for us... =( she just reminds me of GREEN, and made me fall in love with GREEN, cos i know she loves GREEN too! ahh, green's just so nice...

.. mE and angela ..

angela (Le-Er) .. she's someone who talks very loudly and she's really violent! she always disturb me when im sleeping and studying... not really that close to her compared to the others who always hang out and go crazy with me... but she's a good 'story-teller', always update there to update me with her daily personal affairs... lols... x) if only, she could be more truthful... maybe she is? hahas... it doesnt matter, as long as we feel comfortable with each other... in my opinion, that's what frens are for... you got to feel comfortable with them... =)

.. UPPER: chieng yang & jason ..

The two guys ! do you know that our gang is actually a balanced mix of 3 girls and guys? so rare? i find it so too! x) i dont have tze jie's photo and i'll update about him another day... =) so now, just let me talk about these two special guys ( yang & Son )! they've some similarites...

1, they've got wierd and digusting laughter! hahs, kidding! 2, they both treat me as a pig. =S 3, they've the same Zen! 4, they're able to make us laugh with their lame jokes! x)

so fun so fun! with them around, life's never the same! we just love spending time laughing and eating! hehe... they're so unique, we're able to share happiness and they're also always there for me when im in depression... just that i didnt really share that much with them... sorry! i'll try la... hahs...

REJOICE!

i've got a great bunchof frens! and we're going out again tml! =)

Photos, photos and more photos! xD

i think im gettin addicted to photo-taking! hehe..

this is my favourite shot, taken with angela =)

carMor, Le-Er and mE !

us again! outside kino... :)

this is my new idea, pointing at our image!

us and the esplanade! smiles! =D

.. at the esplanade rooftop! ..

3rd Feb '06
it had been an enjoyable day with car and le...

met up early in the morning at 7 plus at car's house to check posting results!

we all ended up in JJ! together with cheryl, lihui and jes...

aww, it's like 1e3 and 2e3' 02,03 gathering there... lol...

we went to auite a lot of places...

first to Bk for lunch, then to far east to look for ear rings!

then, we went to taka, (kino and creativity level), cineleisure...

so, we ended up buying 5 pairs of ear-rings in total!

( i bought 3... ) hehe...

so nice... love them... =)

then we moved on to Esplanade! just to take pics ! yea...

so fun, so happy...

i wish to love my frens more... =)

the present her...

..the one she hates and detests..

she's living in her own world ;

a world of strangers at night ;

she cant control her temper, her actions and her emotions ;

And as she yearn to have someone comfortable by her side;

she tear and fall asleep each night ;

she isnt as weak as you thought ;

neither is she as strong as you saw ;

she lies ;

she deceives ;

she dont know what she's doing ;

she lost her way...

In a Dream ...

..the wishes of an ordinary girl..

she wishes to look elegant ;

the unique beauty that makes her a special someone ;

she doesnt want to tear ;

at least not alone anymore ;

she wanna smile ;

from the bottom of her heart ;

she wishes she can control herself ;

and be like any ordinary girl ;

she hopes and waits ;

to find someone comfortable by her side ;

to appreciate her smiles and hold her tears ;

and if given a choice ;

she would live in this beautiful dream of hers ;

rather than a world of strangers ...

` confessions of an ordinary girl..