one litre of tears

One litre of tears.
the scenes, the dialogues, the characters, the smiles, the tears, the songs and the quotes.

above: "For me, as long as it's you saying it, i'll listen" -asou

above: asou-kun crying after reading aya's diary.

"Reality is too cruel, too brutal. i dont even have the right to dream.

As i think about the future, the tears will come out again." - Aya

"People shouldnt dwell on the past.
it's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now." -Aya


"It's enough to try your best in all that you're doing now." -Aya

i just cant forget. the show is really inspiring!




------------------------------------------------------------------------
went to kino today to look for its book but didnt manage to find it.
saw a jap band album instead, and it's ASOU's band! the main actor!
but the band name is rather lame - NEWS.
maybe i read wrongly? haha...



anyway, for the first time in my life, i shopped alone in town. walked around almost all the places i loved in town. it's a pleasant exprience, i would say.

met ernest and his BGC at far east, as usual. Hah, they're always there and i dont know why.
talking about the BGC, it actually means Bua Gia Clan, ie. gambling clan.
the members are guys and guys only. hmm, not very sure how many members are there but i know it's definitely more than 9.

sometimes, i just find their clan so cool. imagine a group of 9 guys going shopping together?
i still remember the first time when i saw them was at far east plaza, on the escalator.
they were like occupying 4 to 5 steps of the escalator? with 2 on each step. HAHA...

---------------------------

okay, went for carmen's church concert after that and i guess cy and me have 'misbehaved'.

it didnt really turn out to be a concert but more of a 'sing-along session'. cy is a free thinker and im a budhist (dont know how to spell ), not a very strong believer though. therefore, we find it pretty hard to blend in and to sing along. sorry carmen, for the misbehaviour and mischief.

im amazed by the kind of enthusiasm that the christians have, and i mean christians of all age groups, definitely not just the youths. however, christianity is still something foreign to me.
i guess, it's like what cy has said, our roots are planted long ago and it's almost impossible to change.

nevertheless, im still interested to go for these kind of activities, to know more about a friend's religion, something which probably made this friend of mine who she is today.

that's a way to understand more about a friend, isnt it?



besides that, im glad jason's back! i mean, we finally joke around again. HAHA, this feeling is great!



okay, im missing aka and asou.

inspired by the show, i really feel like starting the habit of writing diary.

cheryl (:

RECALL: meji trip with cheryl, her ah neh and carmen.

went for the MEJI choco warehouse sales on last friday with carmen, cheryl and her ah neh.

bought some choco home and they're really cheap and nice! hmm.. i love the black choco most, it tastes the nicest! not too bitter and the taste and smell of choco was strong enough (:

the macadamia one wasnt bad too. anyway, that day was fun cause we went town after the trip to meji. HAH, eat and eat and eat that day. yup

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


hmm, as for today...

i knew that the teachers are giving out the bio paper and math paper today, kinda unwillinging to face the situation and really dont feel like getting out of the bed. yup, thats the reason for dreading to go sch today.

took my own sweet time to prepare for sch and walk super slowly to the bus stop. missed the bus as expected and late for sch (:

took a double-deck 157, which would take a longer time due to longer journey. sat alone by the window and slowly fell asleep while listening to some korean songs. the feeling is great.

spent some time with melvin in sch today while waiting for cheryl's lessons to end. oh yah, received a super nice card from cheryl. it's duper SWEET. whoa, REALLY THANKS ALOT!
ahhh.. really dont know what to say. it's really thoughtful. i really really have got great friends(:



okay, then i chiong finish 2 episodes of "One litre of tears" after i reached home and went for a SWIM at big aunt's condo with mum and sis after dinner.

tried learning to swim but well... haha. Failed.
AT LEAST, ive learned something more this time, and the kind of atmosphere was great (perfect for some sort of therapy) as well.

overall, i love today. kept myself free from any hw, feeling kinda guilty though.
alright, im going to continue watching my show. so sad, im reaching the last few episodes already.


last of all... THANKS CHERYL!

goodbye

GOODBYE.



well, some updates.
ive failed my chemistry paper by 1 mark, and hopefully there'll be moderation.
hmm, a little bit disappointed (or maybe alot?), a little awkward (to tell my family about my results), a little ashamed, but not at all guilty.
i would say ive really put in alot this time, tried my best but maybe havent done my best.
definitely, i wouldnt hope this is my best. i always in poor exam conditions, the mind isnt prepared for the speed and for the kind of stress. took quite some time to warm up during the paper, and panicked when time's almost up. this is bad, and im going to find a cure for it, somehow, on my own (:

hah, the maths paper, is another disappointing one. left the last qn completely blank which worth like 17 marks? hah, thats a difference between 2 grades?
havent get back the results but some sort of prepapred for the disaster.

what else can i hope for, other than having myself believing that i cant do better, for the teachers to see some kind of effort that ive put in, for the family to understand that im trying?

for the first time of my life, im feeling like this - weak, lousy and simply inferior.
i remained optimistic because i know im fortunate compared to others, in some way or another.
hah, this is what i feel after watching the show "one litre of tears", thanks to melvin and willy for the intro. totally salute the girl in the show for her determination, courage and positive attitude. im not trying to be like her, but im kinda motivated by her.

there's more that i can do than to just cry over my results.
i still have 2 more chances (:

shall be stronger than yesterday, & i promise to work harder.
wait, i hate promises, i will work harder would be better.

and oh, i like the photo below. it's me and carmen. i edited it to make it look nicer (cause i appeared like shit before editing. HA)

okay, time for dinner.
im feeling better. WEE~

family day (:

FAMILY DAY (:

really had a fun time today. taking a short break after mid year exams, managed to keep my mind free of hw and tests (:

went for a shopping trip with ma and sis, which turned out to be a window shopping trip.
was supposed to buy kettle but didnt managed to get one. the crowd was so hiong, got so tired after squeezing here and there with everyone. took a break at paragon's coffee bean, had a piece of choco of a thousand leaves, a hot coffee and a ice blended mocha. the atmosphere was nice, really nice. i like it quite alot. seating just beside the traffic, watching how the crowd squeeze thru to the other side of the road, hearing all the Beeeeeppp sounds, while we're seating there peacefully as though we're in another world (:

heh, as usually, took quite alot of photos, especially when it is a family outing. no sense of awkwardness (:

photo of the day:

from all the smiles, i know i've really enjoyed myself today.


it was a nice break after the exams, and also before the terror comes next week.


okay, im still brooding over it.


fret not, the sun will shine one day (:

yuan dian

well, i dont know what went wrong in me, but im really sad for the bad characters in the show.

" 我很早就知错了，我也很早就想回头。但我也知道已经来不及了." -yucheng.

jiok jiok, dont know why, i just cant forget this line and how he die. i actually feel sad for him despite all the bad stuff he has done. and it's not just for this drama, i almost feel for all the bad characters who got their retributions. why why why, i can be so affected by the show that i can sit on the sofa UNKNOWNINGLY for near half an hour after the show.



alright, mid-yr exams are finally over! yeyy!

yeyy what, im pretty sure i wont do well. okay, VERY sure.
what do i have? blanks, insufficient time, carelessness, memory problems.
ahhh, okay, shall stop thinking of all these until the day i get back my results.
then i'll give myself one week to pull myself together, regain confidence and move on.
hah, pretty well-planned isnt it? im just so sure im gonna be disappointed with my results.
shout shout shout!!



had a mini post-mid yr celebration after the last bio paper today. hah, teenagers nowadays simply have to celebrate for every single little challenge they've overcome. no, should be celebrating for every challenge that has passed ( nv manage to overcome also counted ).
okay, actually im shooting myself, cause i know i didnt overcome or achieve anything at all.
naaaaaaaas.



thank god, shrek was nice. sufficient to make me laugh like mad. and i really laughed it out loud.
it's really nice! i love pinochio (dont know how to spell. you know, that puppet that will grow long nose) he's damn clever. unlike the pigs who are just so stupid. LOL.

haven bathe ever since i reached home. have not taken my ba zhang dinner as well.
good luckssss to me then.

haircut.

my hair has grown!

okay, after 3 long months, my hair is getting long and kinda unbearable. keeps curling and im sure i'll look super untidy in sch uniform with this hair.
& the problem now is... Should i cut it or tie it up?

hahas, this is super not the right time to think abt such minor things. i mean at this hour ( near 2am) and at this period of time ( when the mid yrs is just next week ).

well, since i took a break & decided to change the blogskin (somehow influenced by qx, who always change her blogskin), i shall blog as well right?

okay now, the SHORT hair...



or the TIED UP HAIR?

& of course the Let-down shoulder length hair...

hehh, i guess im going to tie it up instead of cutting it (though it's more comfortable).
& the reason is simple... EVERYONE'S CUTTING SHORT HAIR.

when we went back to jj for extra lessons, me and rc noticed around 6 j2s with their long hair snapped! jiok jiok, i dont dare to cut already. rather be a typical ponytail student that ANOTHER jj student with modern bob.

this would also mean earlier morning call, more hair pain, more hair loss, less comfort & more shampoo. perhaps the only think i would enjoy having long hair is... more shopping for hair clips and rubber bands! hehhh....

who knows i might change my mind again? im always fickle-minded.
maybe some bad stuff gonna trigger me to go and cut it? i mean, i always seek changes when im experiencing a big mood swing or maybe when i undergo a small depression?

muhaha, maybe a disappointing mid yr result would do the job.

anyway, all the best for mid yrs everyone! (:

ignorant

some thoughts.

"荡秋千 来回终究要停在原点 "

was listening to 933fm this afternoon when the DJ mentioned this line in the lyrics of the song "空秋千" by lin yu zhong. after disagreeing with rc and qx for weeks, i realised i was wrong. Lin yu zhong is really talented! the song was composed and the lyrics was written by him. i would say i like the lyrics more than the song (:

talking about 秋千, makes me think of my childhood.

those absolutely carefree days. the days when we dont need to bother about the future, or even plan for tomorrow. even when the sky falls, you know your parents would lift it up for you.

being left alone at home seems to be the most frightening thing when i was a child.

for now, alone at home has become the one of the most peaceful moment that i simply enjoy.

who's in the wrong, who's not? i can no longer differentiate.

i wish i could be cruel enough to tell you that i want to be ignorant.

fustration, agony and fear; have etched so deeply in all of us.