goodbye.

sometimes when you need peace, you just couldnt get it.
goodbye world.

sounds like im going to commit sucide, but im not.

sometimes it's the online sharing that makes one feels lonelier than before.
it's sounds wierd, but it's true.

do i dont understand myself or am i trying to make others understand me?

afterall, i feel restricted here. bothered by readers' reactions, comments and sometimes, the concerns they're going to give.

so, im giving up blogging and im going to get a diary soon.
goodbye! (:

a rainy noon and im in comfortably in my white jacket. such a blessing, and i sound as though im in some winter country, enjoying some holiday.

haha, but the truth is definitely not as perfect. im in office and starting work soon. just taking a short break after lunch (:
feel kinda bad, im like doing nothing meaningful when my colleague are busying.

alright, work time. bye

i want some life.

after not going school for some time, im feeling kinda dettached from ppl now.
realised i didnt really made alot of friends in college and if i did, they're merely considered as acquaintance. just hi and bye, how sad. it's kinda too late for anything now.
im just feeling kinda emo now? felt like i havent had enough of teenage life. i shall pluck out some courage to ask my primary friends out, it's really time for some catchup sessions.
meanwhile, i really x 100 wish to meet up with my sec school friends. but im not sure if they're free to meet up tgt.

okay, i hope i can make some friends at office. e3 friends and ppl who know me will know that im actually noisy, talkative and kinda high. but i dont know why, im like a mute or nearly one when im in office. it has been a long time since i last got noisy or high, hopefully the gang can meet up when carmen's back.

thinking back, it feels kinda sad that college life just ends like that.
i would say, ive only made 2 new friends in jj -reena and qx.
and it's sad that CSLs ended up in a rather pathetic state, lost contact with almost everyone.
shit, i think i really have got to be more friendly and chatty.

i want some life.

appreciate.

today is my first day working at orange tee. haha, the people there are extremely friendly and helpful, especially the admin department. there's a wierd guy there though, a 23 year old guy behave in an inapproriate manner, and tell me rather lame stuff (when we arent really that close). maybe im kinda influenced by the other female colleagues, i seriously dont have a very good impression of that guy. other than that, im really feeling so lucky and happy to work in such a nice place! hopefully everything goes on fine, at least for the next 3 months (:

thats something very pleasant to share with, but at the same time, i just read from a jj senior, weilin's blog and found out the jj ah ma, had passed away after being in coma for weeks. that kind-hearted old lady who carried the kittens in her arms, searching for the mother cat so that the kittens who have gone hungry for days could have some milk to survive. i didnt know that small kittens cant take any food other than the mother's milk, it was this old lady who told me. she's very friendly, reena and i have chatted with her in hokkien quite a few times. we're seriously quite affected by her death. hope the stall aunties and uncles wont blame the soccer guy, and would continue their business in jj cause they're really nice and cheerful ppl. their food are the healthiest and one of the nicest in jj as well.

i really feel that im very fortunate, to meet nice ppl in workplace, to have family members who are concerned abt my first day at work, to have parents who are willing to listen and try to understand (if i speak patiently and nicely), and to be alive.

it's really time to cure that old health problem and get healthier, to treasure and appreciate life.

rebonded hair

for the past 3 days, ive been shopping for office wear to prepare for work on monday. didnt really buy alot compared to cheryl but the shopping trips have been very tiring. my legs are aching. had lots of fun with cheryl, trying out clothes and searching for discounted and cheap items! well, i think we really managed to get quite alot cheap stuff (:
heh, cheryl's a good shopping mate, she gives useful comments which helps alot, cause im rather fickle-minded. in conclusion, i realllllllyyyyy enjoyed so much!

other than all the shopping fun, i surprised cheryl with my new rebonded hair.
i dont really find it nice ):
kinda look like a wig, doesnt fit my head. so wierd...

okay, this is my original school-girl-hair.

and then... my rebonded hair...
taken with cheryl on our shopping trip part 2 today! (:
haha, ive filtered and only flash those which my head looks relatively smaller.




and the photos taken with my sis on orchard road yesterday, the day i rebonded my hair.
and below are some of the photos i took during the esplanade library trip during As (:

haha, cant really see my face... im on the right. so nice, we looked like some souls...
cheryl finds it scary though. HAHA.
carmen's idea for this shot (:
i like this photo! cause of the background! we're like floating on mid air, taking photos with the buildings. but we're actually on esplanade's rooftop (:

well, the one below is taken before the sky turns dark. we're enjoying our subway dinner by the river (: aiyo, see... studying for As can be quite fun SOMETIMES. and sometimes only.

okay, this is carmen's creative piece of work and that's her hand.


okay, i've spent the past 3 days very happily and thats really a holiday before i start work on monday.

lets hope everything gonna turns out well for me at work. meet nice, friendly and helpful ppl, and really hopes to learn something from the job. well, all the best to me.

ying ye 3 +1 (:

cooped at home the whole day and im feeling so caged. simply dont like the feeling of having nothing to do or the feeling of dont feel like doing anything. woke up at 12 plus and felt like ive wasted the entire morning. sigh... i need a job so badly after As. that sounds so no life, but it's definitely better than having nothing to do at home or no money to shop and spend.
im getting a job real soon (:

other than that, im looking out for new drama series for me to be obsessed in. the last drama that made me excited every week was Ying Ye 3 jia 1. with mingdao as the lead actor (:




other than that, im currently obsessed in backstreet boys' songs, esp those old ones. im replaying those in the Black and Blue album. they're nicer than the recent ones leh. dont know why, ive a preference for old english songs, but new chinese songs. maybe they're less noisy?

have been browsing thru all my favourite blogs and seventeen mag, im really tempted to get a new life after As. so many things that i want to do, but they all require cashhhhh. how i wish there are jobs for me to get the pay on the day itself. shit, then i'll definitely be left with nothing to save.

im going to get a haircut after my last paper. not chopping it off though.
anyway, for those who are interested to know and haven get to know....

im not going for prom already.
oh yah, and i made this skin cause i like this song. Sober by kelly clarkson (:

alright, thats all. i really have to study for bio mcq tomorrow already.
goodnight world.

post As celebration

time really flies, it has been more than a month since i last blogged and this is a photo ive taken on the last day of school. haha, for memory purpose ma. It's taken on the last day i wear uniform to school to attend lesson. significant day to remember (:

have been busy (not really) with the exams and im finallyyyyy left with one last bio mcq paper. but if you think im not having 'life' for the past one month, you're wrong. and so so wrong. ive been hopping around to study outside since house isnt a conducive place. okay, and as usual, my study partners are carmen poon and my sis. recalling, i guess ive went to holland v's coffee bean, tanglin mall's mac, bukit timah's mac, 155's mac, carmen's place and esplanade library. wow, thats really quite alot.

besides that i took a few nights off when there isnt any big paper on the following day. and the one that really helps to cheer us up is the day that carmen and i have our subway dinner by the river. we even went up to the esplanade rooftop to take photos and have a little break. wah, the place was flooded by couples and im quite afraid that ppl gonna mistaken us as lesbian. sometimes, our behaviour and hang out are just so too misleading. hah, who cares, we had great fun (: thinking back, i dont think mugging for As is that horrible terrible afterall. haha.

and the day that we've been anticipating have finally come... the 3 of us are having our post As celebration today cause carmen's flying on the day we end our last paper. but it didnt really turn out to be that fanatasic. got to apologise for the tiredness that has dampen the mood. the food wasnt really that good but the ambience and the photo taking are really great. oh yah, and the neoprints turned out very nice as well (:

the day wasnt that bad afterall lah?
hope you all have enjoyed. im sooo sorry!

look at that tired look of mine, even the smile looks so fake. hah, i wish we can have a make up celebration. i'll get enough sleep next time and not going to let anything spoil that day.
alright, so tired now. it's really time to turn in, considering the fact that i slept at 2 last night and had a bio paper this morning.
goodnight!

goodbye once again.

today's the last day of sch. hah, feeling kinda sad, kinda wasted... but dont know why also.
okay, maybe i know, but then dont know how to say.

suddenly recalled what happened nearly a year plus ago, when we were pondering who will be our best friend in this class after the entire 2 yrs of jc life.
seems like we're all back to zero, sounds so sad.
no strong sense of attachment to anyone, but a little to everyone.

it's so sad to say all these, to remind yourself of all these.
in search for a best friend(s) in class, we've went thru so much, and landed ourselves in a state of confusion, in a complicated situation.

maybe good things always comes in pairs?

my jc life is full of regrets.
i should have studied harder, i should have joined my activities, i should have done this and shouldnt have done that.

argh, it's too late for anything.
hate to say this, let's leave it to fate.

graduation day

the day didnt start well when im forced to crawl out of the bed early in the morning. to add on, we received a rather sad news which was supposed to be something good instead.

it was announced that prom is not going to be held in school but at Amara Sanctuary Resort in sentosa. sounds cool and unique, definitely better the college. what spoils it all is the date.
it is on the 28th nov. the exactly the same day which carmen's flying to thailand.
sigh, which means to say... carmen cant join us for grad night.

ive always been feeling fortunate to be able to be in the same college as my best friends.
hah, we mug together, pon lessons together, take lunch together, have a little chat after class together and what ive always been looking forward to... is the day when we graduate and the day when we get our results together.

prom night or grad night marks the finale of our college life and brings back the memories of the college life that we share in these 2 years. it's really a pity that carmen cant join us, somehow im feeling quite affected. if only the school can change the date.....

part of the good memories.......
the three of us have become the regular visitors of jj's sickbay. hah, so long as one of us is feeling unwell, the other 2 will come soon. all we have to do is to take out phone and message (:
we can pon lectures, skip breaks to meet up in the sickbay, have a little chat and somehow these are enough to ease the pain of the one lying on the bed.
hai, thats why im feeling so sad over the fact that we cant attend the grad night together, you know you know...

hai...... no point brooding over it now since the scary As comes first.

i hope carmen wont be too affected by my words!
just like what you've said, we can always have a make up grad night some other time!
(:

fri-en-ds lunch @carmen's place

still amazed and still envious of the fact that there are 3 great cooks in our gang.
whats even more amazing is that out of the 3, 2 of them are males.
they've put in so much effort to prepare this wonderful lunch for us. the food taste absolutely great and truly speaking, i havent try most of the dishes before today.
A Big Thank You to you guys (:
hah, not to forget to mention their names. unexpectedly, they're jason, cy and carmen.

here's our lunch (:


and the cooking process which looks rather unhygenic due to the butt-squeezing activity started by cheryl, coordinated by cy.

with poor or maybe zero culinary skills, i volunteered to wash the dishes!
heh, it was fun with that big kitchen area (:

really have to thank the main chef who reached the earliest and forked out the most money.
whats more, he ponned sch for this lunch and has to rush back to sch to get some award after that. waaaahh.... touched.

last of all, a reunion photo of the gang. it was a full attendance!

okay, after sleeping so late and waking up earlier than usual, im feeling really beat now.
hmm, this lunch gathering kinda made me ponder over some stuff but the mind is too tired to analyse what exactly have i reflected.

i still find the formation of our gang amazing cause we have people from different backgrounds, different countries, different religions and have different lifestyles.

there's only one thing we've in common - we all came from bbss (a chao great school)

there's alot i have in mind, but im able to put it in words.

sweet thing for my loves (:

being able to do what you like after the exams feels sooooooo great!!! WAAAAA~~~~
did a "card" for each of the 3 best friends of mine (:

im soooo happy. REALLY (:
yeyyy... i like the cards alot! hope they'll like it too!

gooodnight! (:

the expression of love (:

ahhh, the long awaited bday celebration for mum has finally arrived.

well, ma's bday falls on 18th sept when sis and i were still having our prelims. hee, so we chose this sunday to celebrate bday with her. picked a gift for her on friday, tahaa, bought the floral tea that she once said she likes. it comes with a very beautiful floral gift box and consists 2 flavours - rose & floral mix.


we went out in the noon and was supposed to have enjoy our day at The Central and take nice photos at clarke quay since ma wants to take a look at the mid-autumn festival decorations over there. hah, but what a disappointment. Central was utterly boring and the decorations arent any nicer as well. we left for vivo after taking a few photos....

heh, here are 2 of the photos taken at the riverside (:






hee... went window shopping at vivo for a few hours since none of us have anything in mind.
then we started to move around, looking for a desirable restaurant to have our dinner.
we ended up in Sushi Tei! the ambience is great! ( though we didnt manage to get the best seats with the sea view).

here's one sweet photo of the 3 of us. any resemblance? hah....

and then a photo of my mum's daughters .... hah...

hah! take a look at the photo below! i look like some funny cartoon character! big head and a small body! goodness, look at the spastic smile as well...


and of course the pretty delicious food...
sis doesnt find it as nice delicious as what she expects. me and mum find it alright though (:

while waiting for the last dish ....




we took out the gift and gave mum a pleasant surprise. hah, she didnt know we've prepared a gift for her. haha, she's only expecting a treat!
i still remember the way she reacts when she saw the gift and im so glad she likes it and find it useful. "wha... still got gift ahh..."
hahas...




after dinner, we went for a stroll at the sky garden and took some photos as well (:

mum and sis ...

me and mum...

me and sis...

hah, i guess unlike most families, in my family, we seldom express our gratitude or present our love in words or obvious acts.
we were shocked and felt wierd when mum said "xie xie ni men hor... "
at that moment, i was like frozen and at a loss for words. kept laughing though i was really happy. haha, well... luckily the awkwardness didnt last long when sis replied in a funny and tenh manner "bu yong ke qi la..." we started imitaing mum soon after. hah!

i must say that the celebration was a success and im really really really very very very happy that the present that ive picked was the right one! for once, im proud of my decision (:
dont know why, im comfortably in love with my family and it's so heart-warming to realise that we're getting closer each day.

ive learnt to appreciate, to express and to give (:

Happy Belated Birthday, ma!

lovely day (:

seems like everyone has forgot or chosen to forget that we're still having a chem mcq paper on tuesday. the bua giao clan is in town, and some other jjcians as well. maybe everyone's confident? nono, im not. definitely not.

teehee, finally able to connect a little bit more with jason after quite some time.
ahh, the sense-less song-singing and the rubbish talk. i havent been doing these things after losing contact with all my "high" mates (esp willy).
rubbish talking and making sense-less noises really help to reduce stress, lighten the mind, somehow. but i dont know how.

it has been such a nice day!
cheeeerrrss....


hah, showed my mum the photo above, and she realised "eh, carmen doesnt look old one hor, always have the face of a kid. "

yah, i guess her face would just remain like this. the nv-grow-old face.

to make my day even happier, i bumped onto willy at far east!
though i already know he would definitely be in town. but then, still quite lucky to be able to bump onto him since there are so many malls in town. hehhhh, totally happy.

found some nice pictures when i was arranging my files just now (:

there's so many things i want to do.

cant wait for A levels to end.......................................................

ying ye 3 +1 (:

TaHAA! the feeling of finishing all the big papers is real great!
finally able to do what i want without much constraints.
hah, im sounding as though ive completed my As. my foot, not even the whole of prelims.

maybe ive started demoralised after the first week of papers, and really started slacking during the 2nd week. was having difficulty falling asleep during the first week of exams, but was watching at least 2 hours of tv everyday during the 2nd week. muhaha, this is what carmen and i refer to as "bui zai si".

whatever the case, i guess im still happy that prelims is coming to an end soon and also feeling great to have a new nice show loaded on youtube for me to watch. tahaa...

shall retain this little happiness in me until the day im getting back my results...

i hope there would be no discussion abt the results and i seriously dont wish to disclose my scores. guess it's gonna be total flop and an embrassment to be revealed.

i shall be out for the next 2 days and enjoy.

just let me take a short break before returning to the boring life......

it feels great this way, i like it. you like it?

taaaahaaaaa.... qi si carmen. (inside joke)

im just imitating the muscleman in the Mocca advertisement to irritate carmen.

ultimate. muhahs.

it has been so long since i last high-ed.

qiang qiang memorial

im taking a short break before going back to my math revision.


was listening to 933fm the other day and the DJ introduce this song by Ella.

it's a rather sad song written by the singer herself and it's abt her precious puppy which has passed away. the story behind it is sad, even a people like me who doesnt like dogs or pets almost tear. hah.



the puppy has been brought home by ella back in the year 2003 and SHE soon realised that it has a limping leg.

they brought it to the vet and they were told that the dog was a yin-yang gou, "female-male" dog. it was a female dog with excessive male hormones in it (or the other way round, forgotten :X) and it's because of the hormone imbalance that resulted in its limping leg.


for the past few years, the dog has been receving treatments and at the same time became a precious companion for the owner.


however, the dog left her during an operation in hope to cure its illness, when an unexpected tissue rejection occurs. it happened on the day when ella has to fly overseas for a performance. she only managed to rush down to the hospital to take a look at her dog and had to hop onto the plane soon after. this song was written by her on the plane and the album was named after her dog, 蔷蔷 .(qiang qiang)

the profits earned from the selling of this album would be donated to 慈善团体流浪动物之家.


listen ;
http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/173878ht.htm
it's a nice sad song.
(:

hah, what a different entry.