fatal addiction

"Quiting is hard, not quiting is harder "





hahs, wonder if you all have seen this feaking disgusting advertisment. the first time i saw it on tv was when im alone at home. i was shocked with eyes open wide wide. really scary.

according to my mother who reads the newspaper also everyday, this advertisement has received quite alot of complaints.

some people find it too disgusting to be posted on tv especially during dinnertime. and now, it's shifted to 8 plus at night. others mention that their kids went crying around, shouting "ghost ah, ghost ah" when they saw this ad.
hahs, even big kids like me feel the fear as well, kids definitely cry lah.


i find this ad quite effective as a deterrance, preventing people from starting to smoke, but cant really help the addicts to kick this bad habit.

hopefully all those tall cool-looking and pretty babes who have that fatal packet of tobacco fries would stop smoking for the sake of their beauty and health.

on the other side, i find it really hard for those extreme addicts who have been smoking for more than a decade to kick the habit. and they are mainly the uncles and ah peks who are regular customers of void decks kopitiams and turf club. i guess the ad wont be having much impact on them. they should be well-awared of the consequences and they definitely arent smoking to look cool or suave.



***

apart from that, i had a pretty frightening nightmare last night. havent share it with anyone yet. shall talk about it now.

i dreamt that a very close classmate of mine... has decided to TRANSFER SCHOOL to PJ.

in the nightmare, she came to class in pj's uniform. i was stunned, i asked her for the reasons and she didnt really answer me. she looks very depressed, as if she must leave and staying in this class wont make her feel any better. =/ somehow, i feel that im the cause of it and i plead her to stay... but she refused. she's qx ):



luckily it's just a nightmare. but it's definitely something worth reflecting on.

im now down with flu and kinda hope it goes on till tuesday so that i can skip PC :X


salutes to those brave souls who are going for blood donation next week :D
ive no courage.
the tubes, the needles......... ahhhhhhhh
but... i'll try to donate next time (:

your smile, your eyes, im over it.

im finally sick of fastfood. made my own dinner for the previous two nights.
had western food (penne) on the first night and chinese food (tomyam you-mian) on the second. im proud to say im the one who cooked the dinners (:

im now afraid to step on the weighing machine. hahas... afraid that the reading has increased =X
haiyo..
actually im not fat mah, just heavier than my friends. my friends are skinny, not my fault (:





im beginning to feel dettached from alot of people.
they seem so foreign to me now. no longer feel comfortable chatting with them, and not to say meeting up with them.
it doesnt seem to me that its because anyone of us have changed.
maybe... we didnt know each other well enough in the first place?
hai ~

it's time to walk alone without you, my used-to-be emo guai chang.
ive grown up!
muhahahahhas............................................

ace,sub-ace then ugly B.

going for tuition never fails to set my mind thinking. hahs, not really thinking about the subject (chinese) but the tutee's family. aunty christine (the tutee's mummy) was really good to pass me a bag of grapes for me today. i dont know why she did that but it feels real great(:
the grapes taste superb. not a single one was sour, and they taste like ribena!

maybe because of this, i start to ponder if im really a good tutor. i know it pretty well that my chinese isnt very good, able to ace in primary level. then sub-ace in secondary. hah, then now...
an ugly B.

i used to be very particular about my chinese grades. still remember 2 years back during sec 4 prelim, me and angela quarrelled with the chinese teacher just to seek for the reason why we only got a B for our oral. hahs, if i didnt remember wrongly, there's moderation thruout the whole cohord and there were ppl who jumped from a C to a A. imagine how unsatisfied we were back then. now, i couldnt care more. it has become a subject that i no longer love, no longer score and no longer want to pursue.

it's pretty obvious what has made ppl like me think this way. the emphasis on chinese has dropped so drastically. all we have to do is just to pass and no longer to ace. not trying to push the blame around, but it is true that that is one of the reasons that have triggered the fall in this interest.

haiyo~ i wish i could regain this interest but muhaa, this is already the last year im touching chinese. i would definitely feel disgraceful if im a chinese who cant speak my language.
in fact, im still uncertain whether LEFT = 'you' or 'zuo' .

hahs, how can i be a good tutor when im not a good student at all. i slept and yawn during GP lessons when the teacher is around. seriously, i do feel bad. but sometimes, or most of time, i cant control falling asleep. and the yawning, i didnt know it turns out so loud. i do feel guilty, feel bad. but for some reasons, ive this feeling that ive already been regarded as hopeless (almost) by most of the teachers. i've never felt this way for the past 10 years of education. perhaps im too sensitive.

but imagine, someone who have never pass a single test (or maybe just one) in the entire 1 and 1/3 year suddenly got second in class. would you applaud without any hesitation? hahs...
nevertheless, ive to get the strength somewhere to move on. im not in a circus to perform for others' sake. hah, am i like bringing out the rebelliious side of me?
hahas...




whatever the case, what's true and important now is... im putting in my best to tutor gary and hopefully he's going to get full marks for his Spelling (ting xie) tomorrow! :D

spur on everyone!
again, i had never want to be your competitor.

TAN.KS BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION !

a great birthday party, with loads of delicious foods, thousands fun and loads of camwhoring.
muhahas, i think i really need a digi cam very badly.

it's supposed to be kimseng's14th bday. but the adults celebrated for him as a 15th lunar bday.
ma says that according to the chinese tradition, 15 years old is counted as an adult already.
oooo...

here's the large bday cake that costs.... 50 dollars?

and ks cutting with his big choco cake :D

of course... there's buffet !

hahs, that ks got his face stained with cream. great job everyone (:

we left this special piece of cake for him. there's his big name on it ;)

before the cake cutting ceremony, we have loads of camwhoring.
hee hee... really had fun doing these.

with my great snapping skills, i managed to get this cool photo.
the long legged two.

me & yy
jerald and me (:

this is around half of the whole bunch of us :D okay, this is kinda lame.

and this.... is definitely worse....

hehh-hehh... then comes my so called CREATIVE photos. I LIKE!

#1 the rebellious act.
we're just having fun, didnt smoke didnt smoke, dont catch us.

#2 the BREEZE series PART I

PART II .

and my favourite photo of the day...
PART III

looking forward to the next reunion during qing ming festival :)

COMPETITION KILLS .

yeyy, friday is here!

been browsing around, clicking here and there but just cant find anything nice to do.
school life has been alright other than the rise in stress level (:
i guess everyone is feeling the stress with all the comparisons, test results and peer pressure.
haiyo, it's hard to not to compete. though competition is not really a bad thing, i prefer to live without it. sometimes, competition just spoils friendship and perhaps makes someone seems more vicious.
dumb, i think ive been expressing my dislike more and more obvious these days.
got to admit, im a super super Bias person. sorry if you appeared freakingly noisy, kiasu, and samba-ish. ive got high level of irritability. whats worse is ive got mood swings in the morning. better stay away from me between 6 to 8am. muhahas, you'll see the devil side of me, im sorry ;)

whatelse...
oo, the channel 8, 7pm show is reaching its final episode ;(
see.. from the show, we can understand how frightening competition and jealousy is.
come on, lets stay away from that evil freak.
think about the self-fufilment, the peer support, the encouragement, the feeling of working towards the same goal TOGETHER.
why compete, why compare? they do more harm than good.
we're all moving towards the same goal, hoping to enter uni. we dont have to kill to suvive, neither is it to such an extreme that only the strongest surivive mah.
we can all enter uni TOGETHER. yes, why not?
it's not like as if an additional good scorer gonna decrease the chances of you being one. siao, so long as you have the real knowledge, you can do well too.
why not give a pat on the shoulder SINCERELY when he/she did badly for the test, encourage him/her so that we all can reach the same goal together?
when your friend has done better than you did, feel happy for him/her and ask him/her to push and motivate you :D
siao siao ppl.

haiya, headache.
my sis finds me childish, discussing and handling such stuff. hoohoo =X

RANDOM.
i want to be slim! though im NOT VERY fat.
but i really like the feeling of being skinny lehs.
erm, bless me with qx's or reena's kind of slim-ness, i'll be happy enough :D
ooo.. i LOVE PC (JJC's pe lessons) . . !
you believe ahh, dumb =S

humans are greedy, so i want to be like her (the girl above) one day....

but this one day will never come, cause there's only MONDAY, TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, THURSDAY, FRIDAY, SATURDAY and SUNDAY.

where got ONE-DAY?

better run before i got beaten up for this. goodnight! =X

Star of JJ :D

today's first day of term 2 ! sounds so happy. crazy.
hahas... flip thru my notebook today and i found this cute postcard. it's SUPER MEANINGFUL!
it's written by a pri 6 kid who attended the Prices of life camp last november. heh, she called me the STAR OF JJ... WOW! envious? hahaha... it's the first time i receive such compliment leh... have to laminate and frame this postcard and hang it in the room ah... HAHAHA, im just kidding !

***

i've just reached home not long ago, and im glad to see ma at home in her usual behaviour. heh, this goes to say that everything's fine and okay, and the re-checkup is merely a routine stuff.
phew... life's still as simple and good (:

i've came to realise that nothing matters more than being with your loved ones, seeing them healthy, happy and right beside you. well, the charity show broadcasted on tv last night is indeed thought-provoking. not exactly the part when the artists put in effort to move the crowd and raise the number of phone calls. it's actually the short video clips showing the suffering of the patients and the ache their family members are undergoing that made me ponder. ponder what if something as bad were to happen on me or my family. what would i do? or rather...
what can i do?

Fate, it's just not within our control. i just hope that the family can always stay together, reminding each other to come home for dinner, waiting for each other before dinner starts, complaining to each other about the daily 'torture' at work and in school. im really feeling fortunate, feeling blessed, even when this Family seems a little incomplete for me (:

let action presents my love, and words are still meant to be kept.

time to shower and wait for dinner to start, see ya (:

new look (:

it's great to have a scanner! i can have all the neoprints in the laptop, on blog and friendster now! wee~ hahas...

hmm.. holiday is the time for changes and ive my hair cut! back to the short hair and finally no more hair pain problems. washing the hair is also so much easier, less water, less shampoo, shorter time. muhahas... what else? i can go for yoga and pc without having my hair messed up and wake up a little later every morning! muhahahas... envious? hohoho...

im supposed to be attempting those unsolved chem and maths tutorial qns but hahs...
scanned and uploaded photos instead... these are the neoprints taken yesterday during mini e3 gathering... heh, take a look at my SHORT hair :D

actuallly.....

i kinda miss my long hair ~

reunion

my holiday was pretty well spent . had quite alot of catch up sessions with friends, updating each other bout the misery and funny stuff we faced in school. hahs, and of course the BGR talk. hehh, realised that many of us are actually yearning for a bf? heng my crave wasnt that strong and definitely not the strongest.

seem so interesting, i went over to carmen's house 2 days ago and she came over to my house yesterday. hahs, like new year visits? hahas... nana, we're supposed to do hw or to study but we always end up chatting, laughing over silly stuff, changing lyrics, playing with hair and browsing nice photos online.

we came across this nice picture that we both like (:


hahs, sounds so sweet... but i have to agree with reena that BGrelationship isnt as fairytale-like as it seems. hmm, look below... single can be as great right? thats one of my favourite photo of (:

hee hee.. really had fun today and thanks alot juchi for doing all the organising! maybe we should meet up for more of such session every holiday? hahas...

SNAPS!

yeyy! finally managed to retrieve the photos! it's isnt easy though. have to switch on the old computer and connect the cable to it, retrieve the photos, save it into mp3, then connect to the mp3 to the laptop... then finally...
THE PHOTOS (:

the photos are arranged from the oldest to the most recent.

THE RONO DAY :D

okay, this is all about qx behaving like a child and reena simply ignoring her. hahahaha....

then... she started tearing... LAUGHS!

muhah, this is the compiled one! GREAT DAY!

SATURDAY : A DAY WITH THE KEY.

Just realised ive been creating a thousand and one names for carmen.
had my very first yum cha with her and her parents. really THANKS ALOT :D
we've also taken loads of nice photos. aww, these orange lights make me looks nicer than actual.
MUHAHAHAHA~

someone once said that i smile most naturally when the photo is taken with key.
heh, i really AGREE!

AND ALL THE STANDARD LUNATIC PHOTOS AGAIN...

not to forget the imitation of QX's smile :]

and carmen's usual random nonsense.

in conclusion...

... LOCK & KEY HYPOTHESIS NOT REJECTED!
95% COMPLEMENTARY, 5% INDUCED FIT.

HANDPHONE'S DYING.

had great fun on the past two days and took lots of nice photos. BUT dont know what has happened to my handphone and cable. just cant load photos to the laptop. ahjipala!
the photos are really nice lah! hai ~ should have went to the IT fair on sunday to get a digi cam.
i ALMOST went there...

anyway, was browsing around in friendster and ive found out that JOSEPH'S ATTACHED!
am i abit slow? cause it seems like it has been quite long ago. or are you slower than me? it's abit none of my business also. muhahas... hmm.. what else? i found out that there are ALOT of guys who are more vain than girls. vain in the sense like.. more conscious of their appearance and image. it isnt something wrong but dont know why, i feel a little uncomfortable. erm, just a little...

HOLIDAY is the time for lotsa decision-making!

a. HAIRCUT?
b. SHOULD buy CAMERA or HP? (should, but doesnt mean i will buy. hahs...)
c. E3 REUNION or GANG REUNION?

the most important thing is... SHOULD I GO FOR A HAIRCUT?

YES: my hair hurts when it's tied up. though it's not hard to manage, but it would be easier with short hair.

NO: what if turns out like shit? short hair is boring? looks wierd to be out with short hair?

SHOULD I? :/

emily the strange

mother just walked off mumbling words that sounds like "you know it so clearly that you're very tired and yet you just refuse to go and rest" hahs, it's so BINGO. didnt expect her to know me so well, i mean when i didnt show or mention anything.

it is indeed true that im tired, Very tired. didnt take nap today and have been stucked to the computer chair and sofa for very long already. hehs, actually im just angry. but dont know with what.
just feel so unhappy that im actually not enjoying this friday. nothing new, ive been feeling this way whenever i cant roam around during fridays. the built up unsatisfaction of the week makes me anticipate every Friday. however, when these long awaited fridays have finally arrived, i cant just find any means to reward myself. this kind of feeling is like taking a breath and sink your head into the water, and when the time to rise your head and breathe has come, you just find yourself unable to let out that awful breath. these digusting breath just accumulate and the reason for this is clear and the fault lies nowhere but on myself. dont you experience this too?
so here im torturing my body in order to let out this anger. im gonna tire myself out till the body can no longer take it and knock out, just like the way alcohol does.

come on, it's really time to learn. learn to be less greedy.
it's time to feel satisfied, even when things dont come in the expected way.
able to come online and watch tv is great enough, they can make my day as well. why not?
hahs...

heh, something to balance off the unhappiness. thanks to cheryl, i found more nice pictures for collection. muhahas, here's my fav photo of the day !!

well, twelve has passed and im still waiting for the regular blogger to blog. besides that, im hoping that carmen would be blogging tonight but since she didnt, i shall assume that she's having great fun out with someone special (:

holiday has arrived, sounds so unconvincing. yes, holiday has arrived.

GP =X

these are the 2 out of the 12 given questions that im pondering over for the coming essay test.


"The family has suffered at the expense of career in singaporean society" Is this a fair comment?

or

"How far can the needs of minorities be met in modern singapore?"


have to write an essay based on the question and it is a GP TEST.
sometimes i just dont understand why the school wants to reveal the questions days ago for us to go and research and plan out the points to write.
this might as well be home assignment. TOTALLY not under exam conditions, totally not real, and doent not reflect anything.

hahs, probably what ive said would have angered those who are cheering cause it's a chance to do well, Better than without preparations. it's just my own opinion (:
i seriously find it redundant. im not good in gp, so im definitely not trying to complain because it's unfair to me. in fact, there's a high possibility that it would benefit me in terms of the score (i mean it's more likely that i'll do better than without preparation), but haiya.. really like no use leh.

im clueless how to do well in GP, with results that never fails to flactuate.
which question should i do? the first one is so typical but the second one has too many things to define, so troublesome. anyone like to guide me along?
( -.* carmen? hahas... )

few more days to Holiday! muhahas...

theSMILE :]

coming online to read blogs has become my hobby already. just one day not touching the keypad is sufficient to make my fingers itch. muhahas, not that kua chang though, but just that blog reading has become a kind of enjoyment for me.

i really salute those bloggers who blog daily and interestingly. and especially those with loads of photos. the crazy fact is im actually Looking forward to come home early cause i want to read their blogs. whoops, really crazy right? im looking forward to know what is the blogger going to blog about and how he or she is enjoying life. it feels great to see happy people talking bout their happy stuff (: and if you have any nice blogs to intro, TELL ME!!!

anyway, i was thinking that i shouldnt pon lessons anymore since this is my last year of Uniform schooling and an education full of restrictions. not much time to spend with my friends already... hahs.

show you all the photo of the day!
THE QX SMILE :]
this is direct imitation!
but i think mine doesnt look much like qiaoxuan's, willy's one superb ah...

:]:]:]

Gary (:

im so HAPPY today! finally tests are over. i think i have tests on almost every subject already.
so sick of studying every night and missing out all the nice shows. so no life.
so in conclusion, today's NOT a blue monday!
therefore i went for chinese tuition happily (for the first time), and gary never fail to agitate me but at the same time make me laugh. muhahas... i like chubby kids!

there's this thing that happened today. i made a sentence using “ 越" as example before asking him to form one:
" 你越吃越胖" (ni yue chi yue pang)
then his whole face turn =S. muhahahs... then i gave an evil grin. muhahahahas...
there's also one incident when i asked him what "味”(wei. ie: taste) is and i expect that he dont know. so i asked him what kind of words can go with “味”(wei) and i was expecting him to say “味道” (wei dao)...
guess what he said...

he took out his hand and direct it towards me and said : "喂。。。 你做么。。。” "(wei, ni zuo me..) i.e (wei, why you like that... )

i really burst out laughing and he gave the embarassing look. muhahahahas...

apart from all these funny stuff, tuition is still tiring cause i have to walk a VERY long distance from the bus stop to his house. =(

okay, show you all some photos of gary! he was actually making some funny faces ( small eyes and fat lip face that looks like this :S ) but when he know that im snapping, he covered his face.

you must be thinking im wasting the tuition hours and slacking around right? i didnt lor...
i always extend the tuition hours and i even taught him some maths when he has unsolved maths questions. so kind of me, but i knew it clearly that it isnt good in the long run (like what carmen said)

anyway, i realise ive got a very hip hairstyle when im young! it looks like the recent trendy BOB hairstyle. aiya, i dont know how to spell it, understandable will do (:
take a look ! im hip from young :D
(the upper head, not the lower head ahh)


okay, HAPPY MONDAY! no homework due tomorrow! muhahahas!

back with yellow

back (:

other than mugging hard for the test last week, much interesting stuff happened as well.
one of them is definitely the A level results then the other one is rather Funny.

hahs, i was hopefully wishing that the live telecast of the A level results would have some sort of impact on me. maybe to push me studying and deter me from the bad habits.
surprisingly, it didnt. the reveal of the o level results in BBSS seems much more useful.
nevertheless, thats not really important anymore.

the second issue is really... hai ~
well, guess the whole world knows about the thousand million TOTO issue. it's about getting the 6 numbers and the bonus number correct and the probability is really low, even lower than that of 4D. luckily for TOTO, having 4 numbers that tally will win some cash as well. but i must really emphasize that it's not easy cause the numbers are alll range from 01 to 99.

okay, why did i emphasize so much on this gambling issue?
father intended to buy a little to try his luck since this is the so called " Hongbao Toto ", meaning to say that the prizes are much higher than usual. needless to say, there are long queues at every station. and lazy him, didnt have the patience to wait and was foolishly thinking that he wouldnt be that lucky.

5 numbers out of the 7 numbers that he has written came out. a prize worth $3 000 000++ could have been ours. it's 3 thousand thousands. i guess we could use it for a lifetime without splurging. if we were to keep it in the bank, the interest alone can pay for our necessities and meals. no worries about the horrible future, and i would most probably be enjoying some great food and off for a holiday somewhere.

hahs, i really feel a little ache over it and mother has been chanting about it the whole day. heng, father is still pretty normal. hahas... sounds so drama.
but after pondering for quite some time, i managed to console myself abit by making myself believe that What's mine will always be mine, whereas what isnt will never be.
What if we have to sacrifise something much more important for that stack of money that is earned from just pure luck?

i still prefer the life now and still glad that im still here alive and enjoying the little things in life.
that definitely doesnt include the sickening Tests im having on monday...

here's a poster to show my protest . . .



support me... muhahaha...

erm ,

i guess...

I WONT BE BLOGGING TILL I GET A NICE NEW SKIN :D

see ya soon!