fight on for the pursuit of a better life! (:

received a nice postcard from carmen today when i joined her for her church bbq.
it's a postcard that curved my lips (:
had fun during the bbq and it's pleased to know that im actually opening up more to new faces and new stuff.

and yah..
i found out that my family is kinda in some sort of financial difficulty?
and ive been racking my brains when the jp toyrus isnt calling me yet.
cant take the torment of waiting, i smsed 3 friends to look for jobs.
heng enough, all of them have got jobs for me. wees...
which means a new chapter is going to start (:
im gonna face it positively.

okay, back to thoughts.
i find people who are rich and not putting this advantage to good use a big BOOBOO.
i mean, i see more cases of rich people splurging like mad and spend their life having fun and destroying future. spending the unneccessary money on extra studies (cause they played their results away) when people who are poorer are having difficulties pursuing further studies ?
im not aiming at anyone. im just feeling kinda heated for the waste of resources and money.
then maybe, it's because im poor that makes me a little more self disciplined.
well, but i dont believe that the poor will become poorer or remain poor in today's society.
but i would say it's harder for the poor to achieve the same standards and qualifications as the rich. especially for the studies which require engagement with overseas universities which definitely cost more.
it's not impossible cause scholarships make it possible. but wells,
a poor has to be a cream of the crop to achieve it whereas the rich just need their wealthy parents' approval.

with just goals and desires really isnt enough.
accept it, money makes such things possible.
break the chain. im gonna get rich one day.
hahas... it's just a dream, it's just a goal. but so what?
at least i dare to dream and pursue.
unlike the booboos who only cling on to their parents for cash.
na boong, the world is unfair. but right, who says it is in the first place.

lets dream or imagine... if your family have the wealth, what will you do?

i'll pursue the studies that i love and not the one that i need.
i need not worry for further studies overseas and i'll go for overseas studies.
i'll not have my mum working so hard all day.
i'll not have to bear with the selfish bloke at home.
i'll go for the ouaps.
i'll have my house beautifully designed.
i'll fill my fridge with healthy organic tibits and snacks.
i'll go for holiday overseas with my family every school holidays.
and of course some other materialistic stuff... come on, im not that perfect and i didnt say im.

okay, i dont know why this entry got so tense.
but really, im just being general though with some tones of anger.

anyway, i'll never let this disadvantage take over my life and my pursues.
and hopefully my sis feels the same too. lets move towards a better life girl!
mum deserves more than what she's having now.
and to cousin yy, lets strive together for i always believe we're a family.

for all the backaches, lonely nights, and the big but empty bed...
you keep me moving, mother.
you're my motivation.
and i dont know why, my heart aches a little.
i need you and imagine me without you...
i'll never be me.