If.. one day...

ive suddenly got this question or rather topic in mind that i would like to blog on... kinda sad, but it doesnt mean anything okay? (:
not that im dying, suffering from depression or whatsoever...
just happened to think of this and started pondering (:
hahas (...) !
at least, im not blogging on the routine stuff today...
in all, i would just like make myself cherish everything im having...

one day.. I die...

if one day, i die;
and leave everyone of you behind...
then, would you be....
staring blankly at my photo.. ?
recalling all the lame jokes that have once made you smile..
missing all my cute and yet disgusting actions..
hoping that i can sing so imperfectly or rather funny-ly for you again...
looking thru the whole stacks of photos we've taken...
write and burn a letter for me...
miss all the teasing...
and would you... tear...

and if i really leave you...

Cheryl ..
would probably cry over it for quite sometime...
missing all the funny photo taking sessions we used to enjoy...
wishing that i would be there to tease at her retardness again... ?
pouring every lil' happy and unhappy stuff ... ?
trying so hard to find someone so much like me...
haha...

Carmen ..
would then be getting so un-used without
someone calling her with all the funny funny names...
Jiji.. Mor-er.. Carmor..
Misses the sharing sessions that we always have at the bus stop?
and just like cheryl,
trying so hard to find someone so much like me...

Jason?
probably sit at a corner silently, pondering if i could be back there...
to let him tease at my "fatty-ness" , and have fun together with all
the studying, the drug injections to get high and stuff...
Haha!

Chieng Yang...
definitely remember my lame jokes the most...

Sis,
with no one to quarrel or fight with her...
with no one to talk to and to bombard all her naggies at...

Mum,
probably couldnt get used to the fact that im longer there...
continues to nag loudly to wake me out, force me to take fruits and med. (:

and Willy..
missing me for all my siao-ness, Nehnehpocks, and mean criticisms.
haha...

and if i really die...

i'll miss you all so badly...

cheryl, for all the retardness...
jiji... with her stupid "haas, Erps"
and her extraordinary non-stop burping skills.

family with all the warmth...

willy with all the comfort and high-ness...

and if your name is not mentioned,
it doesnt really mean anything.
cause' i'll definitely miss everyone and every little thing.

but for the ones mentioned;
your faces, your smiles...
are undoubtly the first and the last things which appear in my mind...

and even if i die...
my tagboard would still goes on...
cause no one knows my password to access to my blog and cbox...
(:

not to forget, i'll miss my bed and notebooks so badly...

surely, i'll be leaving with some regrets...
regret that i fail to build up the courage;
to do all the stuff i wish ive done...
the courage;
to express the deepest feelings ive...

and if i die...
read my notebooks...
(:

hey, im still well and alive...
happy-ing around;
so dont think too much yah...