been thinking quite alot these few days to the extent that im having nightmares which are supposed to be a good dream. sounds confusing, let me explain. haha.

it's like this...

im always awared that my dreams (those that occur when im sleeping, not daydream, not ambition) are always the opposite from reality. im very very awared of that esp after the dream i had before receving my Os results. i dreamt that my grades are so bad that i cant even qualify for poly and have to retake as a private. omg.

so, last night, i dreamt that i dreamt that i was in the sch hall, waiting for my results. well, ive got ABB for my 3 H2 subjects. an A for my GP (how impossible) and a B for my econs. and because i know it's only a dream, it's not real, i started yelling, really yelling on the bed (i didnt realise it's a nightmare of a dream until i actually heard my own yelling). im fustrated, just because i know it's not possible for me to get ABB anymore since that has already appeared in my dream.

i think im really feeling the tension. it must be because my sis is getting her O's results tomorrow.

heh, all the best to her. my prediction is 14points, raw score.

apart from that, i think of alot other things. somehow, they're all sad stuff.

im seeking for motivation, to make wake up each morning, feeling that it's a new and fresh day. not another ordinary and routine day. it's hard, esp when everyone is handling with their own working life. shit, i really dont want to feel this way. i guess i seldom appear gloomy back in jj. always crapping in hokkien with reena, running around the LT after lectures to look for cheryl and carmen, talking rubbish with melvin, cheryl and carmen after sch, ponning lectures, gossiping, and so many so many other stuff. seriously, im missing this kind of life already.

it's so contradicting, i wish i could be younger but at the same time i wish im older, maybe in my twenties. somehow, i feel stucked and restricted at this age.

told you im thinking, thinking too much. sigh.