Every lil' thing ..

hello... im finally backk after gone for thousands of years... yey, exaggerating... hahas! :)

lots of things happened and they're mostly sad stuff? erm, dont know how to elaborate... hehs..

im just pretty sad? should be.

well... i shall show you all my terrible horrible timetable that's killing me...!

erm... click to have a clearer view? =)

Practically, im like so dead and tired everyday... im sleeping in class again! sigh...

as you all know... my blog is always flooded with photos and photos... so i shall be flashing more photos soon!

erm... this entry was supposed to be posted around a week ago but my com kept hanging and i cant find so much time to blog... =) tiring tiring week... but i had loads of fun during the weekends ! =) shall post the photos later! =)

joined band !trombone :)

too busy, too tired...

to think and feel...

maybe a picture can tell you more...

.. this blogskin ..

hey, im here to describe and explain about my blogskin... no doubt alot of people will start having the wrong idea... hahas... nah, the guy in the photo is NOT my boyfriend... we're not in a relationship! do we look like we're? seriously speaking, i dont think we look like a couple! LOL, bet my sis will agree with me and nods her head till it drops... hahas!

anyway, the guy in the photo is willy... we've known each other since i was secondary 1 and he was secondary 2... i can still recall so clearly that i knew him through MRL and in bbss library... =) we arent that close back then and were just like those 'hi-bye'' frens... it's only till 2003 mid year period then we started to chat online and got to know each other better... =) loads of things happened after that ( which i wouldnt like to eleborate ) and we began to shift apart and till we practically lost contact... hmm, he reappeared in 2005 and we got even close lor... reasons for which we can become great friends are... he's able to understand what im thinking and how i feel... it's like, he's able to do things of two extreme ends with me... he can have fun and go CRAZY with me, listen to me when im down and tries to give advices plus encouragement though sometimes i would just attitude him and give me dead replies... lalas... he's not a perfect friend lah, but someone close to my heart... so... dont mistaken us... bet he hates what im doing now, explaining so much that is unnecessary... LOL, i just find the need, though it's tiring... hahas... well, if you happened to have misunderstood, why not think about this... if we're together, it would have happened years ago... and come on lor, he's so tall and handsome, ( willy, dont get yaya ) hahas...

Yes, Friends... close friends who share joy and unahappiness, laughter and tears... hate him once, cherish him more... hahas... if you think photos can tell you so much, hmm... go on lor... lalas...

if you've read willy's blog and got so confused now, im here to clear your doubts... im not his girlfriend! he's just having fun creating this contradiction ! =)

that's all for today... im off to prepare for school tml! yeys! goodnight everyone... =)

pardon me for the spelling or grammar errors! im lazy to check! =)

.. a little bit more ..

hmm... ever thought of all the regrets you have in life? er... i've lots of regrets... i regret almost everyday over almost every single little thing... such as, 'sleep or go online?' , 'go out or stay at home?' , 'poly or Jc?' ... that's why i started to hate making decisions... cos' it's ur choice and your responsibility to bear the consequences... there's so many things i hate about life, just like almost any typical teenager... hahs... =D

hmm... i think i really need inner peace... small small decisions can spoil my day and disrupt my thoughts and everything! decisions really make me hate myself... really... making a decision involves so many things... first, i'll have to think of how is my decision going to affect the ppl around me, who are the ones that will be affected and how big will the impact be... due to all these, i always end up making decisions for the sake of others or rather bcos it's the least harm that i'll bring to others... im not trying to say that im noble, cos if you know what it can actually satisfy me, you'll find me a real selfish person... i find making decision for the sake of others is an easy task for me... at least i dont have to bear the conquences of feeling guilty, losing a fren or things like that... i just cant take BIG impacts... =) im no devil, so i dont enjoy hurting ppl and destroying their life... however, after so many things that have occurred in my life, i was enlightened that i can never be so godly... cos' who knows, i might just be hurting others or myself in another way... so, what matters most is to follow your heart, do what you love and what you think is good in the long run... sad to say, i still cant do it... it requires too much courage that i dont have... ahh...

heyy, to be true... i really wish to live a better life... and i really know what it takes to make my life better! =)

i think i need to love myself more... and let others know me better... yeys... it's not easy! and im still trying hard... firstly, i really dont know how to make others know me, understand me and trust me... i cant remember promises and if i've broken the promises i've made, im sorry... i dont do it on purpose, who will? im no devil... sorry cheryl, sorry ken, sorry shurei, sorry sorry... just dont allow me to make any promises ever again k? i cant remember them...

maybe, you will find it so strange... "hey, is this peili who is blogging? hmm, it doesnt seems like the peili that i know leh... " it's like for a moment you're enjoying my companion happily, and the next moment i might seem to be in another world that you dont belong to... dont faint as though you've met a freak with double extreme personalities... i believe it's normal for every human being, it's just like... who can be happy for 24/7 ? hahas...

to my friends, im really sorry... for the promises i've failed to keep... for the bad attitude that i've displayed and for the anger and sacarsm the i've vented on you all (esp CY) ... i must say, im someone who do the bad things first and go regretting and apologising after that... =) at least, i smiled each time im out with you all and i really enjoyed ur companion... thanks loads...

lastly, i hope to love myself more! yeys... though i've been failing lah... hahas... i never see myself as someone special or extraordinary... LOL... im always just a face in the crowd... =) what a negative mentality... hahs! for now, i just want to make every single day of mine beautiful... i'll keep smiling... and take more photos to regain or gain self-confidence... =) i hope i can do it... ! lalas...

well, last of all... Tomorrow will be a better day! and i'll become a better someone...

Smiles! xD

14th March'06

aww.. if only my legs can be slimmer... =(

fffinallyyy... we managed to take a whole gang photo... =D

just a smile... =)

come closer to me;